Sunday, November 9, 2014

Talk it out

I used to subscribe to the thought that some things are better left unsaid. It was worn like a comfortable jacket. If I encountered a dispute, instead of saying what I wanted to say or expressing my opposition, I would just slip on the jacket of silence. It was easier to suppress those feelings than to hurt someone else or get into an argument. Right?

Girls are taught from a young age that it's rude to argue. Nice girls keep their heads down and stay out of trouble. Women can't be leaders. It's not natural. It's against God's plan. I was told at a young age that I couldn't become president of our country. Women don't lead men. Women can only lead other women. Men are the natural leaders that God has selected and women are to be silent partners; lead by their [male] spouses and submissive to their guidance. After all, Adam knows best. But, I digress...

It took years after being grown and married to realize that my emotions are my own. My thoughts are meant to be shared. It's perfectly normal and natural to feel. If I am angry, I can vent to someone. Better yet, I can actually walk up to the person I have issues with and explain to him that he has made me angry and why! What a concept. And you know what? Most of the time, just doing that - talking - fixes the problem (Whoa).

I can also be happy and proud of who I am. If I accomplish something - small or great - it's ok to be proud of it. I no longer have qualms about sharing my accomplishments or the goals I've met. I also have come to realize that I can't rely on someone else to make me feel happy. I create my own happiness. It comes from within and from without. I have to focus on what makes me happy and go after it. Nothing can stand in my way but me. That said, I no longer allow anyone to downplay my happiness or to tell me that sharing it is in any way harmful to them or to someone else. No. My accomplishments are about me. They don't say anything about you, unless you're directly involved.

Some things are better left spoken.

I disagree with your point.
I have something great happening in my life.
I am frustrated. Hurt. Sad.
I am concerned. Excited. Overwhelmed.
I am bisexual. Gay. Questioning.
I'm not that person you think I am.

Hang up that jacket. Hang it up for good. It's good to talk about things you're going through. It's cathartic. It's therapeutic. It's wonderful. And if more people would feel comfortable talking about the good and the bad in their lives, I'm convinced there would be fewer suicides in this world. I'm convinced that mankind would be nicer as a whole. Bullies might become something of the past. Depression would become a distant illness.

Of course, in order for the whole talking thing to work out, we need someone who's willing to listen.

No comments:

Post a Comment