Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Great Ant War (part 2)

We've been ambushed. I woke up this morning to an army of ants on the kitchen counter, pilfering (of all things) my toaster. Apparently little toasted crumbles of goodness are what ant armies crave at 0630 in the morning. NOT my favorite way to start the day. My first thought was "What can I use to get rid of these things quickly, and without poisoning my family?" So out came the Lysol - Or rather, our generic brand Lysol equivalent (Who can afford to spend 5 bucks on name brand cleaner every month?!). I felt like I was in one of those gun-slinging western movies, armed with my spray bottle and ready to fight back. I didn't even give them the count of three before I blasted every one of them away. Of course, as I sprayed, more of their friends came out of the woodwork to fend me off. They were no match for the fat drops of antibacterial spray and the power of citrus. I laughed my evil laugh and holstered my weapon after half an hour (yes, half an hour!) of shooting.  As the smoke cleared, my skin began to crawl as my imagination told me "That one on the far left is moving! I swear it is!" Of course it wasn't.. but I sprayed it again anyway.

I hate ants (Have I mentioned this before?). I am convinced they are remnants of one of the plagues. A plague of ants would have definitely changed my mind about letting God's people go. I would have been like, "OK! Take them! Would you like some gold, too? Some food? Water? Anything else?" I'm sure ants have a wonderful role in nature and all that, but when they enter my house it's a different story. And mostly I despise them because they are so hard to get rid of. Sure, it's easy when they're outside. Use some heavy duty spray or pest dust and... Voila! No ants for 3-6 months. But when it comes to the indoors, you just don't want to use that kind of stuff in certain places. Especially the kitchen. Can you imagine? "Sorry you're so sick, Timmy. Mom had to kill the ants on the counter again. Oh, you made your sandwich on the counter? Well.. Now we know better, don't we?"

As I've stated before, and as experience has taught me, ants typically disappear (both inside and out) when the cold weather arrives. So bring on the cold weather! We're ready. We can handle it. Besides, that gives me a great excuse to get out my cute sweaters and wear my booties!

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