Saturday, July 31, 2010

Forgetfulness

     Do you ever wake up and think to yourself, "OK, today I need to do X, Y, and Z..." only to find when the day is over that you completely forgot about one or all of those things?  Welcome to my life. It doesn't happen to me every day, but I do forget things often. So often do I forget, that I learned a few years ago to start writing things down.  I have gone through countless notebooks, notepads and sticky notes reminding myself to do the simplest things: "Do laundry. Take out the trash. Call Mom. Blog." 

     Not only do I forget things I need to accomplish, but I often forget words I am wanting to say - mid sentence. Especially if I'm tired or upset. I'll find myself asking my daughter to pick up her - and I forget the name for the toy. She reminds me, "Barbie, Mom." Yes. That's it. Thank you. It's quite embarrassing to have your five year old complete your sentence for you in the grocery store when you say, "Can you hand me one of those cans of..." and she says, "corn?" as you point to the object and draw a blank. But, alas! This is me. It's very frustrating.

     I wish I knew why I forget things so much and why, in contrast, my thoughts always seem to come so easily when I'm typing or writing them down. It makes me worry, of course, that by the time I'm a grandmother I will have early stages of Alzheimer's or another form of dementia. There's a history of dementia in my family. Is it inherited? Not sure. Some believe it's hereditary, while others rely on the all-too-familiar "it hasn't yet been proven." I have seen how people treat Alzheimer patients, and I don't want to be treated that way - like an outcast, or less than a person. It's definitely a frightening thought, and perhaps I'm reaching a bit. But I do fear these things.  It sucks to forget.  I want to remember and be remembered.